At first I was afraid of the diagnosis. Probably mostly because I don't like change. I had never thought that I would have something like aspergers. The words seemed like a disability to me. I didn't feel like I had any problems learning anything. But I really do, and aspergers has it benefits too. I also realize that it helps me to feel better about my being a social outcast all through life. There is a reason I could never talk to anyone properly.
When I was younger, I almost always answered "I don't know" to any question, because I could never spit out the answer fast enough for people. It takes time to sort through things, and sometimes, if I felt it was important, I would answer the question later. I think it was just a
coping mechanism. I knew the answer to most questions, but I just couldn't get people the answer so that I was satisfied, and it was in time. I have learned to give answers more quickly, even though I end up changing them 10 seconds later as more information comes to mind. Usually I can get the right answer the first time, so it usually works out all right.
Many asperger traits seem to fit me, although some of my traits are different from many others, at least that is what it seems from reading other blogs. Most aspies tend not to look people in the eyes, although I don't think that I have a problem with that. I don't really care to look at people or not, but I heard that you should mostly look at people but not stare, so I try to look people in the eye, but also look around some as well. Also, I don't really care much for small talk, which is normal for aspies, but I don't feel horrified by the "how are you" question, like others seem to be. I usually just say fine, or try to quickly come up with an interesting event while I ask how their day is. Many times they really don't care to hear that much about you anyway, and
Many asperger traits seem to fit me, although some of my traits are different from many others, at least that is what it seems from reading other blogs. Most aspies tend not to look people in the eyes, although I don't think that I have a problem with that. I don't really care to look at people or not, but I heard that you should mostly look at people but not stare, so I try to look people in the eye, but also look around some as well. Also, I don't really care much for small talk, which is normal for aspies, but I don't feel horrified by the "how are you" question, like others seem to be. I usually just say fine, or try to quickly come up with an interesting event while I ask how their day is. Many times they really don't care to hear that much about you anyway, and
are content to talk about their own day, or say fine and go about their business as well.
I don't seem to notice all the things around people and remember them as well as it seems that other aspies do, at least from reading other blogs, so my memory may not be quite as good as other aspies, but I don't seem to have quite as many seemingly negative experiences either. Most people don't think that I am that strange... they don't think I'm totally normal, but then I don't know if anyone really is. Of course I am strange enough that I usually didn't have many friends.
Most people have probably seen Jerry on boston legal (if you haven't seen that show, then you should try it) but something is maybe a bit over the top about it. He doesn't really have Aspergers, but he does a good job. Though, Comparing him to Dustin Hoffman as rain man, it is missing something to make him totally believable, or maybe he adds too much. He did recieve an Emmy for his performance, so normal people seem to think that he did a good job of portraying an aspie...
Most people have probably seen Jerry on boston legal (if you haven't seen that show, then you should try it) but something is maybe a bit over the top about it. He doesn't really have Aspergers, but he does a good job. Though, Comparing him to Dustin Hoffman as rain man, it is missing something to make him totally believable, or maybe he adds too much. He did recieve an Emmy for his performance, so normal people seem to think that he did a good job of portraying an aspie...All in all, I don't think that it should change much with my interaction with others, but with my family it is making a difference. Becca now understands why I am so stubborn, why I hate surprises, why I get sidetracked so easily, and it isn't because I am don't love her. I still believe I can overcome these things eventually, and knowing why I do those things will help me to overcome them, but it takes time for me to find ways around how my brain is wired, and she has been very supportive.
4 comments:
I love you dear! It doesn't matter how your brain works, just as long as it thinks you love us and want to do good!
Troy I do some of those things too I might have it too
Isn't it funny how while you may possess some of these traits, you were the first to get excited when I was trying to talk you guys into moving down to Arizona! =) Great post, Troy. I love reading your blog. I have yet to get bored! =)
This is a great post. My brother has Aspergers and I think my dad does too. More interestingly, and impressively, I'm sure you have heard that Bill Gates supposedly has it as well as Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton. My brother is also into fantasy and games, that's for sure, but I think it's impressive that you have been able to focus your fixations into things that will better the world as well as provide for your family (languages, which I remember you are quite gifted in, which apparently now includes computer programming language.) I think knowing you might be an Aspie will be SO helpful to your future as a father and husband and it must be helpful for your wife as well. It can explain SO MUCH. Different isn't bad, it's just different. And colorful. As it seems you have already experienced with your oldest child. Glad to have found you, Spjute. Just so you know, pegging me to inherit sign language in Riga completely changed my life. Thank you.
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